it’s good
resolutions
It’s that time of year again; people everywhere trying to improve on themselves.
I’ve never really tried to have any resolutions at new year - I’m quite skeptical, and lazy, and so I haven’t ever felt that it would suit me well. I’d like to say that it’s because there’s nothing to improve on and that there’s nothing I could do to make me better, but be serious, that’s definitely not true. I can relate a lot to the much-loved lady above and I dare say I’m not the only one. So, despite already being a week late, this year I am going to try it - what’s the worst that could happen? (I’ve probably just dug myself a hole right there.)
I’ll keep things simple so as not to overwhelm myself.
1. Be better at staying in contact with people.
2. Be more spontaneous.
3. Be more relaxed, and thus, happier.
We’ll see how this goes.
Hollister makes me awkward. Classic.
The Oracle in Reading recently opened a Hollister shop. Recently, I went into said shop. And recently, this shop made me very awkward.
If you’ve never been to Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch (same company), then you won’t know that this is what most people look like in their shops: 
That wasn’t a good start for me considering the fact that, generally, I don’t look like that. I’m not sure why I was in there. Morbid curiosity, I think.
My next issue was the fact that the designers of these outlets seemed to base their desired shop ambience on a nightclub. It was very, very dark and there was very loud music, which I didn’t enjoy because I was actually trying to call my Mum. Cool, right? Oh and I was by myself.
So, there I was, having my self-confidence crippled at the outset. I walked in and turned left and was immediately faced by a “hey, what’s up?” girl. Initially, I didn’t really hear her salutation (because of the really loud music), and so replied with an “um, sorry?”. I clearly hadn’t followed protocol here and I don’t think she appreciated it - it was uncomfortable. She didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to do, so I just walked away. Obviously the right thing to do in a social environment. Obviously.
I carried on, almost feeling my way around the shop and started looking at the clothes. The tracksuit bottoms of all different shapes, the jeans, the vest tops, polo shirts, checked tops and hoodies. That’s about it really. There are lots of colours though, as well as many things that have ‘Hollister’ everywhere.
Bare in mind, I was still on the phone. Then, out of nowhere, from right behind me, I hear another “hey, what’s up?”. It was so very friendly that it was almost inappropriate. I was so sure that it was going to be some guy I knew, but instead I turned around to a face that was unknown to me, albeit friendly. I didn’t know what to say…he may as well have given me a pat on the arm; given me a hug. So, I didn’t say anything, I just looked at him in a confused, strange way and quickly left the shop, accidentally going through the men’s section. I was glad to step out into daylight. The whole thing was slightly surreal.
And my Mum never answered my phone call.
I’m finding it generally really difficult to write this blog.
The problem is that my writing style makes me sound like an arsehole.
Is this a universal problem? Let me know.
Inglosh
I really enjoy language. Mainly the English language - not because I’m racist, but just because it’s the one that I can most easily understand. Many people have a hobby; I enjoy spending my time referencing grammar books and finding ambiguities in sentences. I do find, however, that language also causes me great distress. Just now, for example, in writing the last paragraph, I’ve already looked up two words and fretted over which punctuation marks are most appropriate. Damn.
The truth is that I’m painfully self-conscious about my language. Writing especially. I am all too aware that, without the usefulness of physical presence, I’m losing all features like intonation and facial expression and body language which help people interpret things the way in which you want it to be interpreted. I’m awkward enough in person, so in writing I’m completely hopeless. I live in fear of people misconstruing me. In saying that, it seems absurd that I’m writing a blog. Completely nonsensical. Well done, me.
I think that my biggest vice is grammar. I’m a perfectionist and so it kills me that good grammar usually comes
across as being completely stilted and bombastic. I like correct grammar. I like good, varied punctuation. So why does it always seem inappropriate in everyday life? Maybe it’s a generational thing - I’m sure youths didn’t have this problem decades ago.
I blame my best friend really. She got me hooked on the stuff. Not quite narcotics or booze, granted, but it’s certainly made an impact on the way in which I write and speak. So did studying French, now that I think about it. That jammy lot across the sea get very angry when you try to mess up their grammar - so don’t go leaving your prepositions at the end of your sentences next time you’re there, instead use your relative pronouns, okay? Good. They have a whole society dedicated to preserving their language. We are clearly too lazy to do this, which means that there are a lot of people who don’t appreciate grammar (like they should).
It has got to the point now, though, that when I notice something which is grammatically incorrect, I find it incredibly irritating. One of the worst situations is when you notice in casual conversation, perhaps with someone you don’t even know very well, or a work colleague or a boss and you seem to watch yourself correcting them and then it’s really, very awkward. 
Facebook is the worst, though. I’m in a cyber-place which is the limbo between written language and spoken language, so where do I stand? What is the protocol for writing on someone’s “wall”? Is it the same for “messages” and commenting on a photo or “thread”? Screw you, Mark Zuckerberg, you didn’t prepare me for this. You’re a nerd.
Well, maybe I should throw my inhibitions out the window and give in to language culture today. I’ll drop my Ts, casually use the wrong verb forms and rise my intonation as if I’m asking a question, when really, I’m not.
lmaogtgbaaaaiX
P.S. My most used application on my ipod is the dictionary.com app. I enjoy the “word of the day” feature more than anything.
